Kind of weird, huh? How does that title even make any sense? The Girl Who Hates Clothes Shopping. Sounds a bit like something out of The Twilight Zone. But, alas, tis the story of my life nowadays. I absolutely despise clothes shopping.
I know most of you are wondering why this is, so even though the answer seems quite obvious to me, here’s my explanation. Today, for example, I went out looking for some new clothes because I haven’t bought any new for about…..hmms..let’s see….6 months now. The last thing I bought was two tank tops. For sleeping in. The time before that was a shirt. For work. That I can only wear to work. Not my finest purchases since I have about a billion tank tops and it’s kind of sad that I spend more time buying work clothes. Anyways, I figured it was about time to roll up my sleeves and get some serious shopping in before the malls got too crowded with Holiday Shoppers.
First off, shopping mall parking lots stress me out. Are you aware of how many bad drivers there are in shopping mall parking lots? There are thousands of them! There’s the people who drive too fast out of the lanes, the drivers who pull out of the parking space without looking if someone is coming, and the suddenly-slamming-on-the-breaks-for-no-reason-at-all drivers. Not to mention the pedestrians who stop in the middle of crossing to send a text message (it’s 50 points for hitting those people- if you play that kind of game…). There’s no way I’m driving to stores in different locations all for the sake of clothes shopping, so malls seem to be pretty much my only option.
Next, you walk into a store and there’s a perky, face-full-of-makeup girl who’s as thin as a toothpick who walks into your personal space and asks “Hello, how are you?” as if they really care, but you know they don’t. They’re only doing their job and you know the next words out of their mouths are “Are you aware of our sales today?” and they go off explaining every little detail when all you really want to do is look around in peace. My answer to their question: Yes, I’m aware of the sales. I don’t add the part where I think “I can actually read the big red signs everywhere. It says ‘Buy 1 get the second on 1/2 off’, right?”. Then, they constantly follow you around, asking what you’re looking for. Don’t worry, I’m not really too bitter about it and I know it’s their job, but sometimes I wish I could just go into a store in peace and that they would be available if I ever had a question or needed help.
The Changing Rooms
Then, there are the changing rooms. UGH! Either the lights are too bright or much too dim, the lock on the door doesn’t work or it doesn’t close all the way, or even worse is when it’s just a curtain! What are they thinking putting a curtain up like that? Anyone can just walk in on you in the middle of changing. It’s not like you have a door to knock on. I guess you could try knocking on the curtain, but who would hear you? Anyways, a closed door with a lock doesn’t seem to do too much because an employee (a woman, thankfully) of the store I was at today unlocked the door and walked in on me changing without knocking. That was embarrassing. I was right in the middle of taking off a dress, you know, when you cross your arms to take it off over your head? Yeah….right in the middle of that action. Great experience that was.
I absolutely refuse to change in a changing room that has no mirrors in it. I don’t get it. Why don’t they put mirrors in it? I guess it’s to make people come out so the sales girls can say “Ooh! That looks great on you!” in hopes of getting a commission, but honestly, I don’t like being forced to come out to see if something looks good or not. Who knows! Maybe I look like a complete fool, so why would I want to come out of the changing room without being at least 70% okay with how I look? So, when I get into a stall that has no mirrors, I come out right away and when they ask me what’s wrong, well, I tell them straight out and leave. I never usually go back.
The Mannequin Trick
Usually, I have no clue as to what is fashionable or not. I don’t have a very good fashion sense, so sometimes I look to the mannequins to see if I can get an understanding of what a good style is. When I see one and think “Hey, that looks really nice!”, I collect all the items I need to complete the ensemble (making sure to get a couple of different sizes just in case) and head off to the changing rooms (preferably with mirrors in them). I try on the clothes and somehow it always looks completely different than it does on the mannequin. And no, it’s not because of my belly fat or anything of the sorts, but because the outfit was pinned up on the mannequin in such a way to make the article of clothing actually look wearable. Without those pins in it, it’s a complete mess of a style! Shame on you, display setter-uppers!
Where to begin! All the clothes are either too long, too short, bunch up funny, or uncomfortable. I can never find a pair of pants that really fit. I’ll always have to hem them, but who has the time (or in my case the patience)? Every time I try on shirts, it’s either too tight around the chest and fits nice around the middle, or fits nice around the chest and is way too loose around the middle. I know, too much information, but it’s so frustrating to never find anything that fits. Once in a blue moon I try something on and go “Like a glove!“, but’s not enough. Every time I leave a store without finding something I feel like I just got a huge blow to my ego. I feel depressed. What kind of body type are these clothes meant for? I wish I knew a place to buy clothes that were made for everyday, regular girls like me.
The Disappearing Acts
It seems like every time I do find something that looks alright and head off to the cash register, the minute I want to pay, something happens to the sales lady. I place all my items on the counter, lean on my purse and wait. And wait. And then, you know what? I wait some more! What’s with the disappearing acts? They’re all over you once you come in,but then when it comes time to pay they’re MIA. It makes me want to just leave the clothes on the counter and never come back. But then, I’d have to continue clothes shopping, so I don’t. I understand when you’re one person running the store and you’re busy with another customer. No problem-o. But when you’re 3 girls working and I have to hunt you down and find you in a corner all gathered together looking at pictures on a cellphone, it drives me a little crazy.
Maybe I’m overreacting, but…
I just have a seriously hard time when it comes to clothes shopping. I leave the mall feeling depressed and angry, wondering why I even bothered to go in the first place. Sounds sad, doesn’t it? I used to enjoy it when I was a teenager, but I feel that a lot has changed since then (my body included) and it just doesn’t have the same “pizzazz” as it did back in the day (meaning, 6 or more years ago). But, what can you do? Maybe my choice of comfortable and fitting clothes will come back in style one day and maybe sales girls won’t be so pushy after a bit of time. It could happen…….right?
How do you feel about clothes shopping?
See you tomorrow morning!
Good Morning, Joe
Other posts about Marie’s Thoughts:
The Mathematics of Regret
Would You Eat This Food After Reading The Note Attached To It?
The Spice Of Life
Kids in Restaurants: A Server’s Point of View
Do Not Let the Evil Inherit the Earth
Remember to Tip Your Waitress: a Guide to a Better Dining Experience
Entertainment or Just Plain Wrong?
Frenglish: Living a Bilingual Life