DPchallenge / Family / Get To Know Marie / Life / Marie's Thoughts / Tips/Advice

Kids in Restaurants: A Server’s Point of View

In response to The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge:

Everyone loves kids, right? Right! Except when they don’t.

This week, we’re particularly interested in what you think about kids in adult-oriented places. I think most of us can agree that it’s not a good idea to drag little Sally to a bar at 1AM, but what about a museum? A fancy restaurant?

I think there might be too much of a grey area there. Being a waitress at a restaurant, I think it’s wonderful when parents bring their kids, teach them how to order their own food and say “thank you” and “please”. It’s important to learn these things early on in life.  I also have to admit that 85% of the kids that come into the restaurant are very well behaved.  Their parents know when their child is capable of behaving themselves in public areas.

Now that’s an interesting word.  

Public.  What is a public area?  Dictionary.com defines it as open to all persons.  What is a kid/child?  Dictionary.com defines them as a person between birth and full growth; a baby or infant.  Therefore, if museums and restaurants are open to all persons, children should be welcome as well.

To be honest, one of my best memories as a waitress was when a family of 4 (mother, father, 3 year old boy and baby) came to eat at the restaurant.  The table was in another waiter’s section, but when it came time to serve the desserts he needed a bit of help taking the order.  I went up to the table and informed the little boy that he had ice cream included with his meal.  His eyes lit up when he asked politely for chocolate on top.  “Excellent choice!” I said, I rung up his order in the computer.  I quickly went to get the small bowl of ice cream and when getting to the table I said “Here you go!”.

“What’s yaw name?” the little boy asked, unable to pronounce the letter R.

“Marie!” I replied.

“Mawie?” he asked.

“Yes. Marie.”

He paused.  Looked at the ice cream I had brought to him and then back at me.

“I love you, Mawie!”

That comment pretty much brought tears to my eyes.  It was the best tip I ever got and it made my week.  I still think about it to this day and hope I remember it for years to come.

There’s just a few little problems…

The problem that I see as a waitress is when parents let their children run around screaming in the restaurant and are too involved in their “adult” conversation to keep an eye on them. Not only is it disruptive to other guests, but very dangerous as well.  It boggles my mind that they don’t see that waiters are running around with hot plates, trays full of drinks, and carrying orders that come with steak knives. It makes me incredibly nervous to see young children running around the restaurant because I’m so afraid that they’ll get hurt.  Do parents know how easily their child could get hurt?  I can’t stress this point enough.  I’ve seen waiters on a busy Saturday night coming full speed around a corner and walk right into a little child (all the while trying not to drop hot coffee on them).  There are many restaurants that have play areas for children and I think it’s such a wonderful idea.  A restaurant like that would be a lot of fun for kids and it provides a safe environment for them to play in!  They won’t have to be bored sitting at a table waiting for their food to arrive or run around in a dangerous area.

Another problem I see as a waitress is other customers telling  a family’s child to behave themselves.  This really upsets me.  Children automatically have a higher voice because they have not fully developed yet.  So, when they are talking excitedly about something they are passionate about, their voices get a little louder and also maybe a little higher in pitch.  While I understand it may be “annoying” to certain people, it is not a reason to turn around and shout out “Would you please keep your child quiet!”  It is a public place, after all, and there are many ways to avoid sitting in an area near children.    A good way to avoid any could-be-fussy children is to ask your waiter to change tables or ask to sit in the bar area.  That is a choice you’re allowed to make.  Insulting a family is not.

Here’s a story about another problem I’ve encountered while working in a restaurant.  I’ve found that sometimes parents expect the staff to watch their children.  This baffles me.  One day while working as a hostess I was standing in the front lobby and a woman came in with her baby in a car seat (the portable ones you can carry around).  I brought her to her table, since she was waiting for her friend to arrive.  A couple of minutes went by and she came back with the baby in a hurry, placed the car seat on the floor next to me and yelled out “I’ll be right back!”.  Before I could say anything ….she just left.  I saw her run out in the parking lot and then lost sight of her.  My heart was racing.  Is she ever coming back?  This woman just left her baby on the floor with a complete stranger (a 19 year old stranger on top of it!).  I couldn’t seat other customers coming in because I had to watch this woman’s baby.  I waited for 11 minutes before she finally came back in saying “Thanks!” and went back to sit at the table as if nothing was wrong.  I was in shock.  First of all, the staff are not babysitters.  Second, what are you doing leaving your child with a stranger?  That is not okay by any means. Not only is it unfair to the child (to place them in the care of a stranger), but also unfair to put responsibility like that on a staff member.

 So, how about I turn it around and ask if certain adults should be allowed in restaurants?

I’ve seen a quiet family with four young children have to move to a different table because a group of 4 adults (all grown men) were stumbling around stupidly drunk and swearing like sailors.  I’ve seen a man throw a chair across the room in anger.  I’ve seen a woman stalking a man and yelling at him in front of the whole restaurant for not paying any attention to her. I’ve seen a teenage girl throw a glass at another girl’s face for just looking at her boyfriend.

I’ve seen a lady grab her little boy and carry him by one arm (body dangling), shove him into a bathroom stall and start slapping him silly (I intruded of course).  Then carry him out of the bathroom the same way, out of the restaurant, and literally throw him into the backseat of a car and drive off like the dickens.

I’ve seen hurtful breakups, fits of anger, and loud arguments.  How does that type of behavior sound to you?  Pretty pathetic, I’d say.  If you’re so keen on worrying about children’s behavior, I’d say take a look at the way some adults handle themselves in public places.  That is all unacceptable behavior if you ask me.

What it really comes down to…

I believe if children are well behaved then it’s actually no problem at all. If they throw tantrums and scream at the top of their lungs, maybe a fancy restaurant isn’t the place to be. But, children are people too.  They deserve to be treated with respect.

Folks, we all have to learn to live together. No discrimination. People have families, families deserve a chance to go out to eat as well, and kids need to eat. Just like couples deserve to have a wonderful, quiet date-night. Of course, there are times and places for things.  You shouldn’t go to eat at McDonald’s if you’re expecting a quiet night out, just like you shouldn’t go to an expensive 5-star restaurant if you know your child is prone to tantrums.  It wouldn’t make sense to make those types of decisions.

Lastly, please be nice to children.  They are wonderful little human beings. Some are capable of behaving themselves in public, some are not.  Some children like to sit at the table with their parents and some love to run around and make new friends.  Adjust yourself accordingly and let kids be kids in areas where they are able to be themselves.

And if you are on an outing or eating in a restaurant remember that it is, in fact, a public area.  All types of people will “misbehave”.  Adults and children alike.  You can bet on that.

What do you think about the behavior of children and adults in restaurants?

See you tomorrow morning!

Marie
Good Morning, Joe

Related Posts:
Remember to Tip Your Waitress: a Guide to a Better Dining Experience

26 thoughts on “Kids in Restaurants: A Server’s Point of View

  1. Like! Like! Like! Like! Like!
    I am often amazed that customers do not see waitstaff (I worked in restaurants for 12 yrs) as people…they are just anamatrons that come when you beckon. Ill mannered behavior comes from ALL humans – not just small ones… kudos for your insight.

  2. Great post! Well written and from a very interesting perspective. As waitstaff, you might have been expected to take an anti-child view point, but you didn’t at all.

    • My experience with children at my work has been great! There are families that I really look forward to seeing because they are happy-go-lucky people, with amazing manners and just all around pleasant to serve. I hear a lot of complaints from other waiters about having “too many kids” in their section, but I don’t mind it one bit. So far so good!

  3. Pingback: Children in adult-oriented places: a collection of [random] thoughts! « 3rdculturechildren

  4. Pingback: No Kids Allowed « Spirit Lights The Way

  5. Good observations, Marie. Perfect summation:

    “You shouldn’t go to eat at McDonald’s if you’re expecting a quiet night out, just like you shouldn’t go to an expensive 5-star restaurant if you know your child is prone to tantrums. It wouldn’t make sense to make those types of decisions.”

    Loved the little boy who gave you “the best tip ever.” :)

  6. I think you nailed this one on the head. It basically all boils down to manners and respect! Are you teaching it? Are you living it? If not, don’t be surprised if yours is the screaming, crazy child running around that drove you crazy when you didn’t have any and chose to either curse like crazy next to a family or tell a parent how to parent their children…LOL!

  7. That said it all perfectly. Well done. I hate seeing people bellow and bawl at their kids in public and yanking them about. I know how testing they can be, every parent loses patience, but gawd, to belt your kid about anywhere, let along a public restaurant! Disgraceful.

  8. I was also (pleasantly) surprised that your perspective as a server was one of understanding and respect for children. Great post!

  9. Pingback: That Moment in Life | Good Morning, Joe

  10. Pingback: Frenglish: Living a Bilingual Life | Good Morning, Joe

  11. Pingback: Entertainment or Just Plain Wrong? | Good Morning, Joe

  12. Pingback: The Girl Who Hates Clothes Shopping | Good Morning, Joe

  13. Pingback: A Glance Into The Past | Good Morning, Joe

Leave a Comment to Good Morning, Joe

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s