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Do Not Let the Evil Inherit the Earth

Do Not Let the Evil Inherit the Earth

We have some of our best conversations at night

I never really understood the importance of going to bed at the same time as my boyfriend.  The only way I ever thought about it was that if he didn’t come to bed at the same time, it meant he was mad at me.  I know, right?  A pretty naive way of looking at things, but the fears were there nonetheless.

It took me a while to realize what was actually so important about it.  I found that we have some of our best conversations as we are lying there relaxing, letting the worries of the day float away.  If we were anywhere else in the house, we’d be distracted by the TV, cooking, or cleaning and that would get in the way of us actually having a meaningful conversation.  Plus, it may lead to some miscommunications, causing problems later on.  The second we get into bed, however, we are just so darn comfortable that we’re able to listen to each other with an open mind and speak to each other in a loving way.  It’s wonderful!

Just so you know, it’s not all serious conversations that we have.  It could be just joking around, insane ideas, or just flat out laughing at ourselves.  The topic of conversation isn’t the important factor in this, it’s the fact that we are communicating properly.

Last night,  he said something that really surprised me.  I was just talking to him about my day and how much of a rough time I was having at work. Even though the day was over and it was nothing to actually worry about, he noticed that I was still holding onto it for some reason and unable to let it go.  It was in that moment that he decided to speak up.

“I have something I need to say…

Do Not Let the Evil Inherit the Earth

“I have something I need to say…”

Your sister seems to do this a lot more than you, but I find that you are doing this more and more as well.  You feel really badly about things.”

Now, I know this is true. Whether things aren’t going well at work or if a friend is going through a rough time, I feel very strongly about situations that may not even involve me.

“You both feel a lot of empathy.”

em·pa·thy

1.  The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

“What seems to happen with you, when you feel badly about something, or you are feeling sad because of a bad experience your friend is going through, you tend to put yourself in a rut because of it.  You start to feel depressed and you let it bring you down.  Feeling empathy should not make you weak!  It should make you stronger.”

I asked him what he meant by that.  I had no idea how to make it into a strength.  I asked him for an example.
“Let’s say you have a brother.  You are both going to a party one day when you get a call that your uncle has died, leaving behind his wife and two kids.  You think ‘My poor aunt! How is she going to be able to get on with her life? They were so much in love! She must be in so much pain!’.  Then you proceed to stop any thoughts of going to the party, feeling the depression of losing an uncle and worried about how it is affecting your family.  Your brother thinks ‘That’s really too bad, but I’m sure she’ll pull though.’ .  He then goes off to the party, enjoying his night while you have a terrible, heartbreaking day.”

I ask him, “So are you saying that I’m supposed to not care and enjoy my life?”

“No!  I’m saying that what you have, empathy, is an amazing thing that should never be let go.  It’s important for people to be that way.  If you suppress those feelings because they hurt too much, then you basically turn into a robot.  You switch off your true feelings..”

I reply, “So my “brother” who goes off to the party is pretty much training himself to not feel for others because the pain hurts him too much to deal with?”

“Yes! And that is weakness.  If you were to do the same, then the evil with inherit the earth.  Do not let the evil inherit the earth!”

“How do I do that?” I asked.

“By not standing down when you feel those feelings.  By not feeling depressed when you feel them.  Feel them…and then DO something with them.  Feel those negative feelings and then turn them around to good.”

“Do you mean turn them around for positive feelings?  Like, if I’ve had a bad day I go into work and be the nicest person because I believe that people should have a good day, even though I’m sad?”

“Yeah, like that!  Feel bad for your aunt and cousins, but then don’t just sit there and dwell on it.  Use that energy to make them a casserole, know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I do.”

 What he said really meant a lot to me.  I let myself be taken down a lot.  People at work tell me “Don’t care so much.”.  Of course, that is just ridiculously impossible for me to do.  I do care and probably always will!  But, like my boyfriend said, I have to remember to not let it depress me.  I have to take in the negativity and put out positive vibes.

A very important thing to work on and to accept.  I hope I’ll do better in this area.

I hope others will realize that, too.

Marie
Good Morning, Joe

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8 thoughts on “Do Not Let the Evil Inherit the Earth

  1. I think it’s wonderful that you and your boyfriend have nightly “we” time set up. True, honest communication is important, and his insight into you is a gift. He’s observation allows you to take what could be a weakness and make you powerful. Sounds like he knows you well and wants you to be happy.

  2. I like this. The nice thing about people who empathize is that they are less likely to judge, and they are usually more merciful and forgiving (imho). It’s a very good quality if manageable. … My husband falls asleep early, but doesn’t go up to bed until I wake him around 1:00 a.m. I am usually so tired, I’m punchy; he is wide awake for a while. We have laughed more at this time than any other time during the week. We tend to talk about a lot of things then, too. Nice post. :-)

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